Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
