You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
