the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
