I didn't shave. On purpose
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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