2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
