And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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