Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
