When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
