I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize