No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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