also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
