Define "chronic" masturbator.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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