i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
