So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
