I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
