I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
