remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
