One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
