DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize