You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
