this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize