I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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