The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
