OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
