Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
