just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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