She's JV to your varsity
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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