I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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