My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
