i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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