Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
