you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
