great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
