found the other keg... it's in the tree
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
