My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
