like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
