no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
