one might say we're banned from that church
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
