he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
