Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
