So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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