i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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