I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
