I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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