It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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