I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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