I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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