he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
