If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
