question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
