Little spoons don't ask big questions
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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