when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
