Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize