she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
