Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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