He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
