And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
