anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
