Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize