I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
